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What is a belief ?

Q2: A letter to my Dad dying of cancer..

Dear Dad,

Sorry I donít speak well in the presence of others, and so I will communicate to you in the best way I know. Itís called writing. And my message to you is with both cognitive and emotional content.

The purpose of this letter is to tell you I love you , and to explain the relationship model you made.

First I will need to Set some ideals and definitions because I am different from others in society and use different modes of thinking. Most people do not define their terms and I find it hard to understand what they are trying to communicate unless terms are defined.

A belief is a rule humanís choose to live by.

There are many beliefs we all follow, and many of those beliefs I caught from my Dad and follow as well. Because we have the right to choose which beliefs we live by, some beliefs I follow you also follow and some I follow you do not follow. That is our personal right of freedom to choose.

For example

  • (1) When a person is down we try to help them. (My Dad's golden rule)
  • (2) Be polite with strangers we meet.
  • (3) Charity begins at home (your family first).

    Here are some belief rules that we both follow. You didnít have to teach me these belief rules; I caught them from you by watching how you lived by your rules. And I love some of your belief rules and follow them as much as you do yourself.

    If I was to ask you why you follow certain belief rules rather than others, you might not be able to answer the question. You might also resist because you are unwilling to think about this. People naturally resist when other people attack their belief system of rules because we feel itís an invasion of our privacy and our rights to live as we choose. And I have to agree with this, it is unfair people come and Force us to live under different zones of influence, but unfortunately these zones of influence are happening all the time.

    A zone of influence is the presentation of a new belief.

    We all experience zones of influence that challenge us and change our belief systems and so we tend to follow these presentations, especially if we see other people following them. These zones of influence come from the Television, the Newspaper, the Shops in town, the music we hear, and especially the younger generation who are gullible to accept new belief systems, rather than conservatively love their parentsí belief systems.

    For example

  • (1) Yum yum is good for the eye but we do not rape.
  • (2) Drinking alcohol is OK but we do not get drunk.
  • (3) Arguing with your wife is OK but do not abuse.

    These newer belief rules came to me also from my Dad, and from the media presentations that came into our home. I saw as a kid my Uncle getting drunk and even have a car accident. I also saw my Dad live by his belief rule of drinking, and only occasionally get drunk. I admired my Dadís belief rule that a man never has to prove his strength by hitting his wife. So you can see Dad, there are many belief rules you follow that I also follow, that were caught from you. I follow the belief rules you made because I love you, and because in loving you, I am more willing to accept your belief rules.

    One of the problems with zones of influence is the people who come and visit us bring with them their belief systems that are different from our own. And this causes stress in us because we do not handle these zones of influence in a healthy manner.

    For example

  • (1) A husband should improve physically the house.
  • (2) A husband should work.
  • (3) A husband is the bread winner; the wife stays at home.

    I reflect of the days my Dad came to my sisterís home to improve physically their house. I reflect of the days my Dad came to my own home to improve physically their house, and we both worked our clackerís off! You know Dad, I have only scratched to surface of the many belief rules you follow that I also follow. You are a lighthouse on a hill, beaming zones of influence to all who admire your culture.

    A culture is a system of rules humans choose to live by.

    Since all humanís live by rules they choose to live by, they also have a large collection of belief rules.

    The sum total of these rules is called the personís personal culture. I have listed 9 belief rules in my Dadís culture that condition how my Dad lives. We all have culture and we express proudly the labels of our culture as ďTRUE BLUEĒ or ďBUSH CALO-THUMP-KINĒ. Some even raise the ďAUSSIE FLAGĒ in their backyard proudly. But culture is simply a term to express a large collection of belief rules that we choose to live by.

    Many of these rules we live by come habitually from our country changing us. Australia as a great South Land is a sun burnt country of droughts and flooding rains, and vast stretches of sand coasts and abundant sunshine. Australia is the ďLUCKY COUNTRYĒ free from war, from debt and free from bias. All can work and improve ourselves and there is no poverty class. You need only work for a living and all have an opportunity to make a "go" of their lives.

    I watched my Dadís culture and his work ethic to provide for his family above himself. I saw those tireless hours of energy spent on different work shifts to bring home the bread for the table. I saw the dedication and the commitment to his marriage, was also a commitment to his family. My Dad is a family man, and this culture with all its belief rules has impacted my own life and the life of my brothers and sisters. My second oldest brother is a great Family Man just like my Dad. My third oldest brother is a work alcoholic just like my Dad was. My Sister was empowered by a Fatherís love during her teenage years and went on confidently with her life as a Mother empowered for her kids. My youngest brother caught the quiet diplomacy of my Dadís culture, the belief rule to live politely among our neighbours and friends.

    Often culture expresses itself by actions, and we do not see the belief rules underneath. So we focus on the social behaviour and remain unaware of the belief rules coming into our lives. There were many things my Dad did that impacted us physically as well as emotionally. And this caused us to love our Dad. I remember the end of year end events and winning the second prize of $10 for running as fast as I could. I remember my Uncle winning the prize of pacing the 100 metres distance by walking or stepping the distance. I remember the camping trips when my Dad took his boys to the rugged mountains for a camping weekend. Those walks with our Dad and sleeping with our Dad, under the stars were tremendous memories for me, of his love and care for us all.

    Culture develops into complex social habits of actions that hide the belief rules that condition them.

    For example

  • (1) Be a quiet husband
  • (2) Let your wife rule
  • (3) Think before you act

    Strangely enough all my brothers have these cultural traits, and they come directly from the culture of our Dad. My Dad is a quiet man, a socially friendly man who listens quietly and sometimes speaks his mind. The wives who have married Dadís sons ponder and find it strange why they are slow to hear and quiet to react, and I find this cultural habit is engrained deeply from our Dad.

    Next the letter continues about my Dad as a Strong Authority, and other Strong Authorites around us.

    My Dad theme

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